Screwed.edu
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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