I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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