God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
