So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
