You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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