i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize