Umm I'm too high to move.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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