Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
