just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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