got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
