I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
send nudes
from the living room?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
