I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
