i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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