My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
