I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's official drugs can't kill me
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
