I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
