Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
