Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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