New invention idea: vibrating tampons
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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