i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
