Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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