I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
