He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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