She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
