No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
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I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
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my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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