i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize