He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.