Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i barfeds in our rink
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
