Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
