i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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