My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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