I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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