they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
