I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
