worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
