Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
