So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Randomize
