i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
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Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
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I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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