I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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