You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
