Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
