That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
