I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
