forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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