He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i love accidental penises.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
