every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
