I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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