i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize