I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
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So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
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I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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