My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
