he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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