Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she told me i tasted like america
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
