11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
