I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
