We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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