There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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