I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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