you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
