Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
